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THE WAY FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF - Part Four

PERFECTIONISM

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Because of space are forced to summarize the most of the content of the post even though there is much to discuss

E 'attitude pathogen taken from successful people who struggle constantly to achieve more, to achieve "perfection" without actually because once you reach the goal, yet they claim to do better.

Who is the Perfectionist? Typically, the perfectionist is' inhuman efforts so that everything is perfect: everything in its place, the colors combined in the right way, the angle of the box set perfectly, the house system with the things in the right place, the right words at the moment right, of course, precisely at the times, scrupulous observance of good manners, etc. .... hardly find the person (partner) that will be fine. E 'methodical, perfectionist, meticulous and systematic, organized every detail and demands from others the same behavior. The perfectionist spends most of the energy necessary, rages in performance for a short-term satisfaction because his motto is "fight to do even better. "

What caused the Perfectionism? When a parent denies the child is demanding and claiming their agreement from him a maturity beyond his age, there is the" perfection. "Even when the child will do something good (take a good mark or simply an act of good manners), the parent does not adequately reward the child, but urges him to do even meglio.Il parent is not 'nothing but keep his son under constant tension, anxiety for himself and for what he does', instilling in him contempt and distrust of self.

The adult child will be constantly harassed and worried to achieve positive results both in physical, intellectual or social, will also be perpetually dissatisfied and

despise the goals that will achieve downplaying his achievements.

What can you do?

1. Try to remember the moments of denigration of the "child of the past and strive to reduce" its "unnecessary tension to always do better
2. Invented a way all of your question, setting out new rules and tries to ignore the claims that the parents had with you.
3. Face and contrast your tendency to self-denigration, bear the anxiety that is created until it is established will be your new attitude, learn not to minimize and do not struggle to achieve quell'irraggiungibile perfectionism.

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THE WAY FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF Third-party

In this third part will begin to discover what kind of child you were. At a time of day when you are alone and relaxed, started to recall the moments of your childhood. What mood were you usually do? Ricordate i momenti in cui vi siete impuntati per ottenere qualcosa, vi siete sentiti tristi o abbandonati? Ricordate i vostri capricci, quando e come venivate  castigati? Come cercaviate di conquistare l'approvazione dei  genitori? Eravate un bambino felice? Pensate  ai momenti in cui vi siete arrabbiati? Quali erano le vostre  reazioni? Avevate delle paure? Che cosa vi spaventava?

Tutte le risposte a queste domande sono fondamentali  per riuscire a capire chi siete stati ma  più importante è ricordare gli atteggiamenti predominanti che hanno assunto i genitori nei vostri confronti.

Cercate di ricordare gli atteggiamenti, le emozioni and feelings of your parents, how they acted, how to spend their leisure time, cleaning, sex, love.

course it will take time to remember, will be a long and patient work.

Take pen and paper and started to write down everything you remember, slowly shape the climate in which you grew up and which has influenced your development and your emotional thinking.

looking for in everyday life the principal traits and / or predominant that adoptive parents with you. They were strict or lenient? It was one more than the other? What made them laugh or angry? They were concerned your health? How much? Argue? For what? How about your brother or sister? They used different attitudes with each of you? In discussing such topics (religion, sex, taboos, racism) and how they thought about it? All these questions will help you to remember the family atmosphere where you lived and therefore have absorbed.

Again, these attitudes are common in all of the parents but the quality of pathogenic or harmful depends on the manner in which excessive were applied and that have contributed to the formation of your personality.

• PERFECTIONISM
• COERCION
• submissiveness'
• overindulgence
• Hypochondriasis
• punitive attitudes and overpowering
• ABANDONMENT
• REFUSAL
• EMPHASIS ON SEX

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